Home Food & Cooking Travel Health Writing Pregnancy Raising Kids Money Reviews Pets Home & Garden Odds & Ends Emergencies Magazines $10 & Less

Hiring a child care provider is never an easy task. When you hire a stranger to care for your baby, you are able to approach the hiring with clinical objectivity. You are buying a service, and if they don't meet your standards, you simply don't hire them.

Things are not as easy when a relative is providing your child care. It is hard to be objective when your family is involved. If you do hire a relative, family loyalty, respect, or the feeling that you owe them a debt for having cared for your child may make you reluctant to stop using them as a sitter.

If you have a relative care for your child, try not to over burden them with child care duties.

• Don't assume that just because you are relatives that they don't need, or deserve, to be paid. They are providing you a service, and whether they ask for it or not, you should offer to pay them.

• In addition, although a relative may be desirous of caring for your child, make sure that they are physically capable of handling the job before intrusting your child to their care.

While there are pitfalls to using a relative to provide child care, there are also many benefits.

• They are family, and most likely they will share the same cultural and religious background that you do.
• Relatives are often willing to work for free, or at a reduced rate, simply for the pleasure of spending time with the baby.
• In an emergency, you are more likely to find a relative willing to take the child on short notice or for long periods, than you would with a commercial sitter.
• A relative will be more accessible to you: to talk about the child, your cares, your concerns, and your expectations.

Don't be afraid to sit down with your relative and talk about how you want your child raised. Be sure to discuss disciplining practices and any other areas in which you have particular preferences concerning the methods used.

Most of the problems that will arise with a relative as a sitter are not so much problems of care as they are problems of communication.

A relative, especially an older one, may have very set ideas on how a baby should be raised – and these may contradict your own beliefs.

• You may find it hard to do, but try to explain to your relative why you want things done a certain way. Don't fight with them. Show them evidence of why a given practice is no longer considered safe. Try to educate them to your viewpoint – but be warned, this may be a lost cause.

If you find that you no longer want, or trust the relative to provide care, don't allow your personal feelings to trap you into continuing to use them.

• The trick to maintaining a happy and close relationship is to be honest, but not accusatory. At times, a less than honest reason for removing the child from their care may be called for, in order to maintain family harmony.

When a relative baby-sits for you, their home should meet the same safety standards that you would expect from any other provider. Use a standard caregiver checklist to see if their home measures up.

• Make sure that the babysitter knows basic infant first aid and infant CPR. If they don't, offer to pay for them to take a training course or teach them yourself.

• Provide your relative with a detailed emergency information sheet.

Despite the numerous problems that can arise when a relative provides child care, most people find that their relatives are lifesavers. Who else would be willing to step in and provide quality care for your child on short notice, or at an inopportune time?

Overall, having a relative provide child care may be a good alternative for you or it may not. As a parent, you must use your own judgement to determine what is best for your child. If your relative is unwilling to change their methods to suit your preferences or if they cannot provide a safe environment for your child, you may be better off with a different child care provider.