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Money – it is the cause of more breakups than all other sources combined. The reason is simple, stress. A shortage of funds, debt, bill collectors, the desire to have what you cannot afford, all these things can add stress to a relationship. Moreover, all too often, stress leads to fights.

• By developing a joint budget, and sticking to it, you will not only strengthen your relationship, but you will be helping to establish it on a firm, financial footing.
• Couples need to sit down and rationally discuss how they will handle their money – before any problems arise.
• Budgeting, for a couple, is no different from choosing a home together. A lot of give and take is required to enable you to come to a mutually agreeable solution.

Before you can even begin to develop a budget, you have to decide how you are going to pool your resources.

• Will all your money be going into one pot from which bills and the 'fun stuff' will be paid?
• Or will you be living like roommates, each keeping full control of your own incomes and merely contributing to joint expenses?

The next step is to really talk to each other.

• What are your philosophies on money?
• Are you willing to make financial sacrifices now, in order to be able to afford something 'big' later?
• What are your attitudes toward debt?

The more areas in which you agree, the easier the actual budgeting will be. However, even if you both have diverse ideas about money, all is not hopeless. It only means that you'll have to work harder to reach an agreement.

Before you can effectively budget your money, you have to know how much you have, and where it is currently going.

1. Take a piece of paper and list every source of income you both have.
2. On another sheet, list every predicable and necessary expense you have, such as rent, insurance, car payments, and food.
3. Next, list nonessential expenses such as dinner's out and extra shoes.
4. Lastly, make a list of all your long-term monetary goals. This can range from paying off your current debt to saving for a house or retirement.

Your next step is to reconcile your lists of expenses with you total income. To do this, begin keeping a log of every penny you spend. In just a few weeks, you will be able to discern a pattern as to where your money is currently going.

• That coffee and pastry every morning really adds up over time!
• Once you know where all your money is going you can begin to redirect it to where you 'really' want it to go.

Once you know what you have, where it is going, and an idea what you want to do with it, you and your partner can begin to work up a budget that is acceptable to both of you.

Some expenses are fixed, such as rent, food, and utilities. Once these items have been subtracted from your income, what is left is discretionary income. You, as a couple, must decide on how to allocate these funds.

• Compromise is the key to establishing a healthy, long-term relationship.
• Try to look to the long term. It may be very simple to buy items on credit, but it can take years to pay them off.
• Set priorities and long term goals.
• Don't play the You/Me game, strive for Our.
• If you, or your partner, wants to buy a big ticketed, nonessential item, try setting up a savings account into which you 'pay' a fixed amount, just as you would a regular bill. When you save up enough to buy the new 'toy', pay for it from this account. This technique will not only help keep you out of debt, but it will also stop you from making impulses purchases.
• Another option is to split your discretionary money, allowing each to spend it, or save it, as they wish.

If you cannot work things out yourself, consider going to see a financial advisor. Not only can he help you develop a budget, but he can also help you pay off any debts you already have. You may also find marriage/couples counseling beneficial.