When thinking about infertility, most people concentrate on methods and means of acquiring a child. Most overlook another option - they can simply remain childfree.
Childfree vs. childless - While both terms mean the same thing, both terms have different psychological connotations. Someone who is childfree is someone who has made a conscious decision to remain childfree. By making the decision to remain childfree, they have freed themselves from the 'need' to have a child. On the other hand, someone who is childless, is someone who is suffering from a loss. They are chained to the idea that they lack something, and are less than a whole person.
Childfree!
The truth is, you need to be honest with yourself. If you don't really want to have children, you have the right and the responsibility not to reproduce.
You may also decide, after pursing infertility treatments, that it is no longer what you want to do. You are perfectly free to change your goal from 'striving to have a child' to being 'childfree'. It is your choice to do so and you should not feel guilty about your decision. Rather than giving up, you are merely switching gears.
Making the Choice
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The Internet offers a wealth of information that will help you decide if living childfree is the right decision for you.
Childfree by Choice
If you elect to be childfree, by choice, be forewarned that you will face societal pressures to conform. Parents, who dearly desire to be grandparents, may be your worse foe, constantly nagging you to reproduce.
When deciding to live childfree, you will be faced with many of the same questions as you were when living with infertility, such as people trying to make you feel guilty for not having any children. The same techniques you used to communicate your status and feelings to your family and friends while dealing with infertility will work equally well after you make the choice to be childfree.
Resolve, The National Infertility Association, provides useful tips on dealing with friends and family when you don't have children.
Choosing to remain childfree also frees you from the monthly anxiety of "Am I pregnant yet?" It also gives you and your partner the freedom to pursue your own interests and to stop being totally focused on reproductive biology.
Living Childfree
One of the top ten myths about being childfree is that it is a lonely lifestyle. The truth is that childfree couples have active social lives. In fact, they often have a wider circle of friends than those with children because they have more freedom to socialize!
Support for those living Childfree
Just as there are support groups for people attempting to achieve pregnancy, there are also support groups for those who have decided to live childfree. These groups can help you in your decision making process, as well as providing support after you make the decision to live childfree.
